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PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2017 5:22 pm 
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Kere
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foredeckape wrote:
Do I really need to explain vacuum? There is nothing to it.

And you can't call spoiler alert and put a spoilee in the post. If someone wants to see the Doctor Who Christmas Special before finding out who's lovechild gets to force bang Rae, they should be allowed to. Except there is no force banging in the Disney universe beyond a Haunted Mansion thigh rub on grad night and I did not feel objectified when she did it. But, back on topic, both parties would have to be equally strong with the force for mutually consenting force banging so it probably isn't a good trope anyway. However, even a friendly force shoulder rub might be considered an abuse of power and a step into the dark side. So, like even if you didn't know you had force powers and lived on a sand planet, you could unknowingly Jedi mind trick some attractive being into a blanket dance and bam!, you are on track for upper management in the Empire.

And as to the range of an energy weapon, it would depend on the collmation of the weapon since the energy hitting the target is a function of the dispersion cone. The range would be something like the square root of the weapon power times sine of the cone angle divided by the kill power divided by 4 pi.

Really, a couple of glasses of wine and a jazz recording should really get you a pass on the whole Jedi mind trick mutual consent paradox.

Sent from somewhere exotic



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PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2017 9:20 pm 
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Honui Moai
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Tiki Vee wrote:
foredeckape wrote:
Do I really need to explain vacuum? There is nothing to it.

And you can't call spoiler alert and put a spoilee in the post. If someone wants to see the Doctor Who Christmas Special before finding out who's lovechild gets to force bang Rae, they should be allowed to. Except there is no force banging in the Disney universe beyond a Haunted Mansion thigh rub on grad night and I did not feel objectified when she did it. But, back on topic, both parties would have to be equally strong with the force for mutually consenting force banging so it probably isn't a good trope anyway. However, even a friendly force shoulder rub might be considered an abuse of power and a step into the dark side. So, like even if you didn't know you had force powers and lived on a sand planet, you could unknowingly Jedi mind trick some attractive being into a blanket dance and bam!, you are on track for upper management in the Empire.

And as to the range of an energy weapon, it would depend on the collmation of the weapon since the energy hitting the target is a function of the dispersion cone. The range would be something like the square root of the weapon power times sine of the cone angle divided by the kill power divided by 4 pi.

Really, a couple of glasses of wine and a jazz recording should really get you a pass on the whole Jedi mind trick mutual consent paradox.

Sent from somewhere exotic



Doug, for real, your words are hydraulics for my penis.
I'm Steve Austin and you're mouth is Oscar Goldman and I get a bionic boner every time you speak.

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I find your photoshop and graphic skills equally arousing. I want your "Bigfoot in the Backdoor" lobby art poster framed in my workshop bar. But, our love for each other's smooth brushes of talent is not for here in the Port. We need to rendezvous and make plans for Liz and Bargoyle's nuptial weekend. Perhaps we can invite Professor Pineapple who makes wood sing and showers with a mirror, on occasion, to join the ribary?

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2017 11:17 am 
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Personal Statement: pants off bottoms up
First of all, it's just a fuckin movie. I was entertained for almost 2 and a half hours straight. I seriously pissed for like 10 minutes straight afterward cause I stupidly ordered small trough of coke zero on my way in.

I think most of us have way overblown expectations for nostalgia for something that wasn't quite as good as we remember it. The originals are painfully slow at times for me to rewatch. I still love em though.

CowtownKahuna wrote:
******SPOILER ALERT!!! SERIOUSLY. THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS, I ASSURE YOU.*****

The more I think about it, the angrier I get.

There are minor quibbles;
-Most of the jokes sucked and fell flat

eh, they were quick, some worked, and overall worth a try.

CowtownKahuna wrote:
-Some of the CGI was shitty (crystal foxes, I'm looking in your directon)
-How the fucking fuck can something be out of range IN A VACUUM?!?!? Unless your name is foredeckape, consider this rhetorical.

I sure the fuck am not foredeckape and this is in the minor section so I'll leave it, but some shitty CGI does not ruin a movie.

CowtownKahuna wrote:
-The entire Finn & Knives Chow go to the casino subplot didn't feel like Star Wars at all.

Completely disagree, unlikely characters teaming up for a side adventure, meshing different skills and experiences to attempt an improbable task, yup. I will admit that the execution was not up to par. The dumb parking on the beach and thinking they could go in and get their guy by just walking around in their rebel gear was poor, but I liked seeing the world and the scum and villainy callback.

CowtownKahuna wrote:
-Who was Darth Snek, really? And why is he such a dick?

Did you want the movie to be longer? I'm curious too, but he's gone. I remember feeling a bit like that about the emperor many years ago, but got over it pretty quickly.

CowtownKahuna wrote:
-Why is Marysue Skywalker always better at everything than everyone with NO TRAINING?!?!?

Agreed, Luke used to get lucky with little or no training, and that usually bit him on the ass at least a little. I assumed this was because she was some sort of forcebaby. I'm glad she's not, or at least hope she's not, they have left some wiggle room, but it would go against the main overarching theme of seeding a rebellion of anyone with hope. Definitely some mixed messages throughout the franchise on this.

CowtownKahuna wrote:
-Why even have Admiral Akbar in the movie if he only gets 2 lines before killing him off? That was total bullshit.

Other than "It's a trap" has he said anything important before? Even that's not important since we've all figured it out by the time he says it.

CowtownKahuna wrote:
-Tiki Vee elaborated on how the movie would have been way better if Admiral Genderstudies had explained her strategy to Gomez Addams.

This was my biggest gripe and I've gone back and forth on it. It was so obvious as it unfolded. There was no way that his plan was going to work and him be the hero and show her up. But they gave no inkling that she had a plan at all. Would a great leader at least project that there's more going on than meets the eye? I think so. On the other hand, would she tell a hothead who had just been demoted (so he probably shouldn't have been able to talk to her directly) the details of her plan, or allow him to openly question her in front of the organization she was leading? She probably should have taken him aside, but a lot of shit was going on.

CowtownKahuna wrote:
Then there are major quibbles;
-The same Luke Skywalker who willingly got captured by Emperor Palpatine and shipped to the Death Star because he thought there might be some good left in Darth Vader was gonna murder Darth Emo (his own nephew, mind you) in his sleep because bad feelz? Seriously???? Rian Johnson fundamentally failed to comprehend Luke's character.

Seemed like the old Luke who had impulses that he didn't always control well. He was never going to murder him, but it crossed his mind. I do think he would have been better able to control that impulse by now, but what else was going to tip Darth Emo to the dark side? Maybe it would have been more believable as an astral projection of Luke that Darth Emo believed to be real (also would have foreshadowed his belief in the projection at the end.

CowtownKahuna wrote:
-If you're gonna kill Luke at the end anyway, why bother with the astral projection tripe? It would have been so much better and so much more according to cannon if Luke actually showed up, fought Darth Emo and died a proper hero's death. Credit where it's due, Mark Hamill turned in a hell of a performance.

I pretty much agree, but the results are pretty much the same either way. I do think he died a proper hero's death anyway, sacrificing himself. And the projection stuff probably foreshadows things to come that may or may not be things we'll like.

CowtownKahuna wrote:
-The entire movie relentlessly hammers on the connection between Marysue Skywalker and Darth Emo. The entire movie relentlessly hammers even more on the need for balance in the Force. For all his faults, Darth Emo has a moment of perfect clarity, kills Darth Snek in a very cool way, displays his loyalty to Marysue Skywalker and then puts all the bullshit aside. He's all like, "Hey, Marysue Skywalker. My Space Nazis are awful people and your Every-Community-College-Ad-Ever Collective sucks, too. Both sides have been fucking up the galaxy for millennia. Since we've both been ordained by the gods of our universe as their chosen vessels, how bout we just run shit together and bring about the aforementioned balance to the Force?" And I'm all like, "No way! The writers finally figured out a way to polish this Gordian Knot of a turd!" Nope. Marysue Skywalker denies her divine right and goes back to join Finn, Knives Chow, Gomez Addams and Admiral Genderstudies. Why? There is no explanation given. No possible motive explored. No inkling of a reason reasoned.

This was the exact point where I started openly rooting for Darth Emo.

May the Force be with the First Order.

Palpatine did nothing wrong.

I hope and expect that's where the next movie is going.

I know this won't change your mind, but hope you stop getting angrier. It's Christmas, have some nog.
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2017 11:54 am 
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Tagata Ao
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Don, you're a stand up guy. I'll put extra rum in the nog. Cheers, brah. :mrgreen:

That said....
Quote:
Quote:
-The entire Finn & Knives Chow go to the casino subplot didn't feel like Star Wars at all.


Completely disagree, unlikely characters teaming up for a side adventure, meshing different skills and experiences to attempt an improbable task, yup. I will admit that the execution was not up to par.

No issue with characters teaming up for a side adventure and what not, but the entire aesthetic of Space Monte Carlo just did not feel like Star Wars.

James Bond? Sure.

The Fifth Element? Possibly.

Some other pretty good sci-fi flick? Certainly.

Star Wars? Not so much.

I never got the menacing, dangerous "scum and villainy" vibe, either. More like "boring cocktail party".
Quote:
Did you want the movie to be longer?

No. I would have happily swapped more Darth Snek character development for less Finn & Knives Excellent Adventure.
Quote:
Agreed, Luke used to get lucky with little or no training, and that usually bit him on the ass at least a little.

Wait. What? A little???? Dude, Luke used to get his ass whooped with sub-par training.
    -Flying Lazer Globe
    -The Wampa
    -Yoda's extended training montage in "Empire"
    -Darth Vader cutting off his freakin' hand

Granted, they established Luke's piloting and "T-16-womp-rat-bullseye-img" skills from his days on Tattoine. But his Jedi skill set was sorely lacking until the third movie. Marysue..... nope, she's a Disney Princess. Might as well have her sing "Let It Go" and get it over with.
Quote:
I hope and expect that's where the next movie is going.

So, we've got the Han Solo Movie next, then the conclusion to "The Force Awakens Trilogy" after?

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2017 12:58 pm 
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CowtownKahuna wrote:
So, we've got the Han Solo Movie next, then the conclusion to "The Force Awakens Trilogy" after?

Yes...

2018 - Solo: A Star Wars Story

2019 - Star Wars: Episode IX

Also...

2020 - Another "A Star Wars Story" standalone film but could be on Boba Fett or Obi-Wan Kenobi

TBD - New Star Wars trilogy


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2017 3:01 pm 
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Kere
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Personal Statement: Execute order 25
Enjoyed the movie and liked the new locations, creatures, and yes droids that were added to the mix. The universe is huge and exploring it via the books, movies, and tv shows has always been part of the fun for me. Did I care that Snoke got whacked before we really knew anything about him. Not really. Personally seeing the big-bad sliced to pieces made me laugh out loud.

Also liked that we are seeing force sensitives that do not have Skywalker, Kenobi, or any other known name attached to it. Back to the universe is a big place and since the Jedis stopped stealing children to fill their ranks, I am sure they are a lot more out in the wild than there was when Palpatine was just a lowly senator.

Some folks disagree with me big time- but to make a franchise viable and give it some longevity you have to break the cycles and dare to explore and do things differently. I am glad Rey's journey is nothing like Luke's, the last thing Star Wars needs is another whiny protagonist, Heck they have Fynn covering that just fine. Some fans went in expecting a rehash of Empire Strikes Back. When they didn't get it they they got upset and my thoughts were sorry, not sorry. I wanted a new story, with some new twists, and was happily surprised by the final product. I got to suspend disbelief for two and half hours and enjoy something that has been a part of my life since I was seven years old. I avoided spoilers and kept my expectations simply to "Let's have some fun with this" Perhaps that is why I am not disappointed.

Seeing Yoda again was great, a cranky pissed off, jaded at the universe Luke- perfect (probably the most I have ever related to him). Rey finding her own way without the bullshit indoctrination of a failed order- even better. Kylo Ren who I really did not care for as a character in Force Awakens, felt way more developed to me, and it was fun seeing him rise to power. I want to see where he takes the First Order with his, forget about the Jedi, forget about the Sith mentality. Leia as resistance leader great, (surviving her time in space, weird, but okay), the Porgs (ah Disney you could not help yourself), liked them anyway, Crystal Foxes- nod to the Rebels cartoon, lots of big and little moments, I enjoyed. Sure I could pick elements of the movie to pieces, but ultimately I do not want to.

The Star Wars franchise being what it is, I figure we will see a book, comic, or TV show (they are working on a few right now) that addresses Snoke, the Knights of Ren, and some of the other things that fans want to know more about. I like the character DJ (the slicer) showing the gritty side of things and proving that most folks are just trying to survive and do not have the time for Good vs. Evil. I would love to see more of that framed in that universe and Canto Bight in particular.

Was it a perfect movie, no-far from it. Did it have plot holes- yes, but nothing that ruined the experience for me. I agree with Leisure Master, why be upset when a franchise acts like a franchise. Suspend disbelief, take a break for two and half hours and have fun with it. If you cannot do that: Go pour yourself a drink, chill out, and find something else to bitch about.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2017 3:02 pm 
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This is way better.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2017 3:04 pm 
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Kere
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Personal Statement: Execute order 25
rev_thumper wrote:
CowtownKahuna wrote:
So, we've got the Han Solo Movie next, then the conclusion to "The Force Awakens Trilogy" after?

Yes...

2018 - Solo: A Star Wars Story

2019 - Star Wars: Episode IX

Also...

2020 - Another "A Star Wars Story" standalone film but could be on Boba Fett or Obi-Wan Kenobi

TBD - New Star Wars trilogy




Also at least two Star Wars TV/Streaming projects in the works...

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2017 3:58 pm 
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Kere
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E33 wrote:
First of all, it's just a fuckin movie...


Don, I love ya...you're a hell of a nice guy, a snappy dresser and you've got that sweet sweet mustache.
And 9 times out of 10, I agree with this, in principal.
A movie is just a movie and it's all subjective.
I personally have seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show over 150 times- in the theaters - but I cant get through The Room, Eraserhead ( two other "cult" classics ) or any of The Fast and the Furious Movies.
If a movie is mindless entertainment and that's really all it's going for, i.e. Pacific Rim, than fine.
Bang Bang, Chomp Chomp, Smoosh Smoosh...roll credits.

BUT Star Wars has really never been just mindless entertainment.
Christ, even the shitty prequels, that are really just a figment of everyone's imagination and never really happened at all, spent a REEEEEDICKULOUS amount of time building a world rife with political corruption and upheaval.
There was story and development and heart.
Characters were developed and for the most part, acted accordingly.
When Leia says "I love you" and Han says "I know" - he says it because that's exactly what Han Solo would say in that situation.
If instead he winked at Leia and said "Yo momma's so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl", people would be annoyed and rightly so.
So I get why fans are upset with the direction Luke's character took.
Because it's a complete 180 from the Luke that we knew.
It's lazy. True Blood did this 3 times in its run on HBO.
It took characters, developed them and then through the use of mystical vampiric mumbo jumbo, changed their personalities completely, essentially creating new "fresh" characters out of established actors. It was bullshit then - it's bullshit now.
Luke refused to give up on Vader but was going to slaughter big nose droopy face? I don't think so.

I had no problem with the humor.
I thought the opening exchange between Gomez Addams and stereotypical bad guy was pretty funny and not really that far out of canon.

Again, biggest issue was pacing and adding shit where shit was not needed.
I guarantee you, someone on youtube will recut that movie, just like they did with "The Phantom Edit" and make a much better, more cohesive movie.
That second act served absolutely no purpose at all. All it did was pad the run time. You never really got any sense of two mismatched people working together. If that was the point, it missed me and everyone else in the theater.
And that still does not excuse the lame creature design and the shitty shitty shitty CGI.

Bah!
Fuck this movie in it's dark cave pit hole.
The one Rey somehow manages to fall into.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2017 4:04 pm 
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Tiki Vee wrote:
Bah!
Fuck this movie in it's dark cave pit hole.
The one Rey somehow manages to fall into.

Good. Good. Let the hate flow through you.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2017 4:13 pm 
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Kere
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Personal Statement: Execute order 25
CowtownKahuna wrote:
Tiki Bloated wrote:
Bah!
Fuck this movie in it's dark cave pit hole.
The one Rey somehow manages to fall into.

Good. Good. Let the hate flow through you.



I think Cowtown need a Red LightAxe, it would be more his style than a saber.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2017 4:25 pm 
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Just one last comment on the "everything is different" complaint and why I think it should't be dismissed outright.

This is a breakdown of one of the deleted scenes.
Emphasis mine.

Quote:
We were originally going to spend a little more time with Finn, Rose, and DJ aboard Supreme Leader Snoke's Star Destroyer but a few of those scenes ended up on the cutting room floor. For starters, we would have seen Finn trying to flatten down Rose's hair so she looked more like a member of The First Order, while there would have been a humorous elevator scene with a very slow closing door.

Also, when Finn and Rose learn that DJ has betrayed them, she yells, "How could you?" to which he replied, "I’m sorry I turned out to be exactly what I said I was." Sick burn, eh?


You can't tell me that line is not ridiculous and totally out of place and tonally wrong.
"Sick burn, eh?"
So apparently in the Star Wars universe, there's a Bob and Doug McKenzie planet.

Say it with me now...

Noooooooooooooope

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2017 5:14 pm 
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2017 5:33 pm 
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Tiki Vee wrote:
Just one last comment on the "everything is different" complaint and why I think it should't be dismissed outright.

This is a breakdown of one of the deleted scenes.
Emphasis mine.

Quote:
We were originally going to spend a little more time with Finn, Rose, and DJ aboard Supreme Leader Snoke's Star Destroyer but a few of those scenes ended up on the cutting room floor. For starters, we would have seen Finn trying to flatten down Rose's hair so she looked more like a member of The First Order, while there would have been a humorous elevator scene with a very slow closing door.

Also, when Finn and Rose learn that DJ has betrayed them, she yells, "How could you?" to which he replied, "I’m sorry I turned out to be exactly what I said I was." Sick burn, eh?


You can't tell me that line is not ridiculous and totally out of place and tonally wrong.
"Sick burn, eh?"
So apparently in the Star Wars universe, there's a Bob and Doug McKenzie planet.

The "sick burn" part isn't within the quotes? I think the interviewee said that, not the dialog.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 21, 2017 4:49 pm 
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So apparently the Porgs we're just a practical necessity.

https://kotaku.com/the-last-jedis-porgs-are-just-puffins-which-the-film-c-1821485957

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2017 3:07 pm 
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CowtownKahuna wrote:
Darth Snek

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CowtownKahuna wrote:
Admiral Genderstudies

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CowtownKahuna wrote:
Palpatine did nothing wrong.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 26, 2017 10:39 am 
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one more meme, and that's it, i promise.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 01, 2018 3:55 pm 
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After seeing it a second time - I know I really liked it. Solid entertainment for 2.5 hrs (rare for me).

I LOVED:
- Poe's x-wing
- Hyperspace Tracking
- Yoda
- Porgs (this really surprised me)
- How Luke turned out

I HATED:
- Laura Dern
- Rose + Finn = like?
- I didn't feel the dark side. I missed some sort of Snoke backstory and in no way see Kylo Ren as a supreme leader going forward.

I'M MEH ON:
- Finn's character development - I really liked him in Force Awakens
- Crystal Dogs
- Not enough R2
- Leia force flying through space

My favorite review of the movie was by Miss Pahupahu:

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 01, 2018 8:29 pm 
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Danzig as son of Han and Leia would have been EPIC.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2018 10:18 am 
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The Kylo Ren shirtless scene has inspired my favorite meme of last year.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2018 3:17 pm 
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Oh, and Wahine Magnet reminded me of another part for the LOVE category - Chewy flying the falcon through that red crystal cavern.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 04, 2018 3:13 pm 
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Personal Statement: cromagnon ohio thugs
xtine wrote:
My favorite review of the movie was by Miss Pahupahu:

Wow. She wins the official "Cowtown Kahuna Award for Excellence in Selective Compulsive Disorder during a Movie Review".

That's not an honor I bestow lightly. :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 04, 2018 3:35 pm 
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Kere
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my favorite part was when they want to the dangerous Tiki Bar:

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 05, 2018 1:35 pm 
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Honui Moai
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I recently experienced watching my wife get totally bummed out by Game Of Thrones last season. I was not quite as bummed, but felt it. The reason for our dissapointment I totally attribute to YouTube and fan theories etc.

Writers, directors, actors create their art in a bit of a bubble, intentionally blocking out fanboy theories and expectations because art by committee is bad.

It's very hard for those of us who just can't help watching those fan videos and inventing our own theories.

I'm trying to judge the movie on its own merits, not what I wanted it to do, not what others wanted it to do, and not in competition with the series own legacy.

I liked it.
Yes I saw things that I consider flaws (the whole Finn story) but they had to introduce a love interest for him because Rey's too hot. They had to make his love interest a full story or it would have been obvious. I thought it was kinda nice to see that even during war time, the universe goes on, businesses function, people go to casinos etc.

It wasn't predictable, which must be SO hard to do when making a movie like that. Hopefully the next movie will tie up some of this ones loose ends.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 08, 2018 2:05 pm 
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Honui Moai
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Who is Dobbu Scay???

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