The Islands of the Fraternal Order of Moai

Ohana attendees might do well to study this helpful chart, lest they become confused about the advanced science of drunkenness.
Bonus: the "Know your drunks" section.

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"Senator, can't tiki-drinking lead to some fun things too?" - Miss Plenty

Hmm.. apparently I naturally maintain a BAC of 0.03 to 0.12 based upon the behavioral cues.


Maybe my liver actually makes alcohol?



Ahu

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"Yo, she-bitch.. Let's go."

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Follow me on Twaddle: @kukuahu

LOVE this! I may print it and keep it on my fridge as a "to-do" list...

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I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. -W.C. Fields

GABA GABA... hey!!!

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i run the stasi like bob fosse

Gaba gaba.. gaba gaba..

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"Yo, she-bitch.. Let's go."

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Follow me on Twaddle: @kukuahu

Sweet I am too fat to calculate on the scale! I guess that means I can drink as much is I damn well please!

Also there seems to be a missing phase on the list where would Trader PeePee Pants have fallen, Well beyond slurred speach, He created his own language!

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OK, I'll give you one chance to impress me.......

Uh oh. Here come the pics....

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I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. -W.C. Fields

But it doesn't explain why when I'm drunk I assume no one can hear me so I have to talk REALLY LOUD.

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Please visit my new website, Leeward Lounge Ukuleles

My thoughts were so loud I couldn't hear my mouth

Or why it makes us want to start texting people.

First thing I do the morning after I've been drunk is check my sent text messages and hope for the best...

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I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. -W.C. Fields

Since I have already had one drink, and my IQ drops when I drink, this chart is way too involved for me to comprehend.


---
I am here: http://tapatalk.com/map.php?rtxcwa

"This new learning amazes me.
Explain again how sheeps' bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes."

The following is for nerds only, but everyone else was confused by the quote above and has moved on if science in the thread title didn't scare them off in the first place:

Can we plot a BAC nomograph on tapa cloth? Or maybe, just get a bunch of circular sliderules like these: http://www.datalizer.com/semi_custom_slide-charts/bac_drinkdrive_calculator.html
There would have to be rates for beer, wine, shrubs, cups, punches, hi balls, strong drinks, really strong drinks, drinks featured on VLK, and the stuff they drank in Vietnam. To be accurate for all populations, we'd have to develop a fancy decay model based on a drinking fitness index, DFI (for instance, I have seen a small woman who reacts like large man to drink and not just when she is carrying a baseball bat. She would have a very large DFI).

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ƒore Dæ Capé

'Don't she turn my green eyes blue.'

Reserve Tyromancer and Philogynist

I have a very un-scientific method of getting drunk and it works for me every time

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Metal Surrenders When Oak Trees Meet Fenders

Must. Experiment. Tonight.

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"A curious species. They have fantasies they hide even from themselves."

"Sarcasm: Because beating the shit out of people is illegal"

this reminds me of that episode of WKRP in Cincinnati where they test DJ johnny for reflexes as he drinks, and he actually improves the more he drinks.

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i run the stasi like bob fosse

Love that episode.

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"Warning: Contains multiple hairy penis"

If you don't have a Quest already...

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"Yo, she-bitch.. Let's go."

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Follow me on Twaddle: @kukuahu

The episode was "Fish Story" where Les, dressed in the WKRP carp, gets in a fight with the WPIG pig, at the station, Fever and Venus drink to test their reactions, as Johnny's get better, Venus' reaction time declines.
Second only to "Turkeys away!" where Turkeys are dropped from a helicopter. "As God is my witness, I thought Turkeys could fly!"

Oh, the humanity.

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"A curious species. They have fantasies they hide even from themselves."

"Sarcasm: Because beating the shit out of people is illegal"

I am going to go somewhere and stop thinking now.

http://www.borkensteincourse.org/faculty%20documents/CourseBACAfterConsumption.pdf

http://staff.science.uva.nl/~heck/Research/alcohol/HECK259.pdf

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ƒore Dæ Capé

'Don't she turn my green eyes blue.'

Reserve Tyromancer and Philogynist

Ahh, science. It's way more fun drunk.

True story:
I asked one of my frequently drunk patients "how much do you drink on a daily basis?"
His reply... "all of it".

I bought WKRP on DVD just so I could have that episode (and the one where they drop turkeys from a helicopter for Thanksgiving, only to find out they can't fly). The part where Venus gets drunk while Johnny becomes crisp and the state trooper gets more and more flustered is top notch entertainment!

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"Senator, can't tiki-drinking lead to some fun things too?" - Miss Plenty

Glad we completely agree!

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"Senator, can't tiki-drinking lead to some fun things too?" - Miss Plenty

You are reminding me of this fine song "Alcoholics Unanimous":

http://youtu.be/l8lNyi4_sy4

"There are so many people I might have upset, I apologize to them all with the same group text..."

(*warning: rock and roll, not luau music)

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"Senator, can't tiki-drinking lead to some fun things too?" - Miss Plenty