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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 12:28 pm 
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Honui Moai
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Personal Statement: God Bless Trader Vic
What do you think it would take to get more places serving decent Mai Tais?

Or do you think it is a lost cause?


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 12:52 pm 
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Kere
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JJ Tiki wrote:
What do you think it would take to get more places serving decent Mai Tais?

Or do you think it is a lost cause?


That is actually a two-step process....

First, getting or finding a bar to make a decent cocktail.

THEN getting them to make a decent Mai Tai.

The Mai Tai is almost a Holy Grail of drinks in non-tiki bars. Few places make a decent one because so few people ask for one. Add to that the number of bad recipes out there..... well its not a lost cause, but it will take a whole lot of work.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 12:54 pm 
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Honui Moai
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Keeping a laminated card of the recipe ready to whip out would help!

'Course, not like I'm expecting anybody to happen to have orgeat on hand.... :roll:

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 1:23 pm 
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Tetu Avahata
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What's so hard about makin' a mai tai?

http://www.5min.com/Video/How-to-Make-a ... il-2186974

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 2:40 pm 
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Honui Moai
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Location: Just outside of DC
Personal Statement: God Bless Trader Vic
ahem...I did specify a decent Mai Tai. There were a few "violations" of the code in that last video.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 2:42 pm 
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Kere
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One of my favorite stories regarding the Mai Tai...

From Joe Bob Briggs....

http://www.joebobbriggs.com/maxgolf/mg200010.html

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 3:09 pm 
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Honui Moai
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Personal Statement: God Bless Trader Vic
Chip and Andy wrote:
One of my favorite stories regarding the Mai Tai...

From Joe Bob Briggs....

http://www.joebobbriggs.com/maxgolf/mg200010.html


That is a great story and one of my favorites as well.

I wonder if we could track him down and get him to come to Ohana or another of our tiki events. Special guest Mai Tai judge or something. I think he'd really be into our room crawl events.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 3:16 pm 
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Avai Pukao
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Suzanne warned, me, but couldn't possibly describe the putridity of the mai tai at the Tonga Room in San Francisco. I arrived and ordered my cocktail before 2 friends joined me and my mom, so I could at least warn them to stay away from their tiki drinks. When a place like the Tonga Room can't get it right, I worry.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 3:32 pm 
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Honui Moai
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Chip and Andy wrote:
The Mai Tai is almost a Holy Grail of drinks in non-tiki bars. Few places make a decent one because so few people ask for one. Add to that the number of bad recipes out there..... well its not a lost cause, but it will take a whole lot of work.


We're on a mission from God! Now I just need to find a minion with two coconut husks and I can begin my quest!

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 3:56 pm 
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Honui Moai
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Personal Statement: God Bless Trader Vic
Taking a cue from the Trader Vic's own Second Adjusted Mai Tai Formula (1 ounce pre-mixed Curacao, Orgeat and Rock Candy Syrup), I have wanted to experiment by make my own pre-mix bottle of "mix" and to select a reasonable custom blend of two rums from one company (Appleton, Cruzan, Barcardi).

If this yielded a decent drink, this would turn making a "decent" Mai Tai into two pours and a generous squeeze of fresh lime, ice, shake and out the door. Much more attractive to a working bar. The big rum companies could push this as the next mojito (and much easier to make).

Now I know that Trader Vic's has a mix on the market and they even have a "Mai Tai rum" blend, but there is a whole host of problems with it. It isn't that good, a bottle of the retail mix doesn't go very far, and despite it being their signature drink, they don't have the impact in the retail bar business to impact the larger marketplace the way a company like Barcardi can.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
E33 very sad to hear about the Tonga Room.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 4:07 pm 
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Kere
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The Mai-Tai mix concept works really well for parties, and bars that are going to serve a lot of Mai-Tais.

Trying to figure out how to make it a mix that can be produced in bulk gets too far away from the quality part of the ingredients. Look at the label on Trader Vics Mai Tai mix..... nasty, nasty stuff.

And, by turning the Mai Tai into a one-two-pour kind of drink you have made it even harder to find a good one in the wild because lower quality bars are going to reverse engineer the mix instead of building the drink the way it should be built.

The best way to keep the Mai Tai from being 'lost' to pineapple juice hell is to find a bar and bar tender that are willing to learn and then teach them how to do it right, or at least how to do it right for you.

Then make sure they see the torches lit off in the distance and let them know that a small part of cocktail nirvana lies just a bit west of where they are now.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 4:08 pm 
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Kere
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E33 wrote:
When a place like the Tonga Room can't get it right, I worry.


In all the years we lived in California, the Tonga Room was never at the top of anybody's list for a place to go to get good drinks. It was the place you went to before you actually went out to go drinking.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 4:17 pm 
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Matu'u
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Personal Statement: Conch ceviche.
Well in that situation Bacardi wants to sell pre-mixed cocktails and not a syrup to be mixed with rum, especially not other brands of rum. So they will sell this:
Image

And any mass produced mixer is really just going to be high fructose corn syrup and food coloring anyway, let's be honest.

I think Formikahini hit the nail on the head, you won't get a decent Mai-Tai unless the bar has the right ingredients on the shelf and your average bar doesn't have orgeat (the coffee shop next door might, but the bar won't).

So my advice is to invent a new cocktail that uses orgeat and some super premium vodka that is named after a douchebag. Then get the company to feature it. Then get some celebrity to tweet about it so it becomes popular and then.... then you can expect to find orgeat in more bars.

Let's call it Operation Celebutard.

-Rev

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 5:37 pm 
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Honui Moai
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Personal Statement: God Bless Trader Vic
Very funny Rev, and you have a good point. At the moment the world does seem to revolve around over priced and over hyped vodka.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 5:41 pm 
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Honui Moai
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Yes, for whatever inane reason somehow douchebags are in fashion when it comes to popular bar fare.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 9:56 pm 
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Kere
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cut to the chase, let's popularize a drink called the Douchebag.

oops, too late. and no orgeat. http://www.drinkswap.com/drinks/detail. ... pe_id=2699

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 10:25 pm 
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Matu'u
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Personal Statement: Conch ceviche.
Ok, so back on the topic.... most bars are not making quality cocktails so best to go after bars that are taking cocktails seriously but ignoring exotics because of some misguided bias against umbrella drinks.

A few visits and some knowledgeable discussion of cocktails with one of the senior bartenders and you could probably get them to try some of the classics.

-Rev

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 10:20 am 
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Avai Pukao
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rev_thumper wrote:
Ok, so back on the topic.... most bars are not making quality cocktails so best to go after bars that are taking cocktails seriously but ignoring exotics because of some misguided bias against umbrella drinks.


Now, I don't travel like rugbymatt, but I have had the good fortune to travel a little recently, and it does seem that there is a trend at least in metropolitan areas to support a few outstanding cocktail bars, places where they make their own syrups, and carry or make their own bitters in multiple varieties. I've been to two such places in San Francisco (a couple of weeks ago) and one in Houston (in July). In each of these places their menus had a section of classics and a section of new cocktails that they had created.

At the Alembic in San Francisco, I had what was probably a top 5 in my life cocktail unfortunately named the blue steel:
Quote:
a strong, silent type that just hints at its own complexity. this sipper has appleton estate rum, crème de cassis, and dashes of absinthe and angostura bitters, and just a tiny splash of rye whiskey, served tall, on the rocks with a sprig of cilantro and a twist of lemon peel. you’ve got to love a cocktail that stares you in the face. in a word, fierce

I actually reverse engineered this one last night and I'm pretty close:
2oz appleton estate
1oz creme de cassis
dash of pernod/absinthe (I put mine in a cleaned out bitters bottle for ease of dashing)
dash of angostura bitters
splash of rye (maybe 1/8oz or less)
http://www.alembicbar.com/

At the Orbit Room in San Francisco, I had something very good from their menu that involved muddling pears, hibiscus syrup, and vodka. I was with two friends and we each had drinks that required muddling. The bartender put a couple of those perfectly clear, perfectly square ice cubes in the heavy glass part of the shaker, then added the fruit, and then another cube or two before muddling. I've always muddled in the metal without ice, but this made for a nice presentation and really beat up the fruit. Each cocktail was excellent. They had a flight of fancy cocktail at the bottom of their specialty menu that basically said, you pick a base spirit and flavor profile (with some examples - sweet, sour, flowery, etc.) and see what we come up with made special for you. I couldn't resist and asked the bartender what he would do with bourbon and hibiscus syrup. He basically came up with my recipe for the Hawaiian Fashioned (based on an old fashioned, but with hibiscus), but he added a strawberry to the muddle.

I can't remember what exactly I had at Anvil in Houston, but it was great. A variety of top shelf liquors and homemade ingredients. Anvil had beachbum berry's books behind the bar and were happy to go tropical, though their printed menu focused more classically. The anvil's website is sort of under construction: http://www.anvilhouston.com/index.php , but they have a blog that's got some good stuff: http://drinkdogma.com/

I know of a couple of places in Miami, where you can get a similar experience, but it's a pain in the ass to get down there and park, compared with how easy it is to go to Chip and Andy's, or the Mai Kai (I know, I know, I suck), so I haven't really put the Miami bars through their paces yet.

So, there are definitely some fantastic bars out there that might not feature mai tais that could make a very good one, especially in the larger metro areas. The fun is in finding them.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 11:21 am 
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Honui Moai
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Good point Don. TikiJ and I hit Agraria a couple weeks back when I was in DC for business. The bartender there was more than happy to mix up 9th Wards for us off of a recipie on Jess's iphone. They are on the riverfront in Georgetown and take their cocktails seriously.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 6:25 pm 
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Matu'u
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Location: Queequeg Chapter (NH)
Personal Statement: Conch ceviche.
JJ Tiki wrote:
Chip and Andy wrote:
One of my favorite stories regarding the Mai Tai...

From Joe Bob Briggs....

http://www.joebobbriggs.com/maxgolf/mg200010.html


That is a great story and one of my favorites as well.

I wonder if we could track him down and get him to come to Ohana or another of our tiki events. Special guest Mai Tai judge or something. I think he'd really be into our room crawl events.



Sadly that old column is not longer online so I grabbed a copy from the Internet Wayback Machine. Enjoy and Happy National Mai-Tai Day.

Quote:
Joe Bob's Wild America

The Great Mai Tai Hunt (Frat Parties Turned the Classic American Libation Into an Umbrella Drink. I Went to Find the Real Deal) by Joe Bob Briggs

October/November 2000

You people should be ashamed of yourselves. I'm a betrayed and angry man. We all know that standards in this country have plummeted to depths known only by the dead bloated body of Leonardo DiCaprio. But this is too much. As my buddy Roddy Piper would say, it's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum--and I'm all out of bubble gum.

I speak, of course, of the Mai Tai.

The Mai Tai is our greatest American cocktail. It doesn't have an ounce of single-malt Braveheart wheat-juice in it. It has nothing to do with the latest cranapple-flavored Rooskie pseudo-vodka sloshed out of bottles by guys named Evan. The Mai Tai doesn't come from some candy-ass gun club lounge where racehorse owners talk about debentures in Singapore while sipping "juleps." A Mai Tai, properly made, is strong enough to put permanent fissures in a fat man's brain, yet delicate enough to make his girlfriend try to conjugate verbs with her thighs. The ingredients might come from the Caribbean. The South Pacific might have made it famous. But the Mai Tai comes from California and is so by-God American that any bartender who can't make it should be shot for treason.

I say this now. I had no idea it would come to this when I ascended the 107 floors to the top of One World Trade Center recently in search of a Mai Tai. Windows on the World bills itself as "The Greatest Bar on Earth," and I don't think it's because of the local cover band--called, appropriately, Deep Cover--that was wailing on some seventies disco bullstuff when I got there. I shouldered my way to one of the busiest bars this side of the SAE house at the University of Arkansas, elbowing a few Euro-weenies in the ribs and mussing their shiny leather shoulder-strap jackets. Face to face with one of [five] harried bartenders, I said, "Can you make me a Mai Tai?" I should have known by the long pause that his answer would consign me to Umbrella Drink Hell.

"Sure," he said meekly. "Just a minute."

I watched him as he placed a highball glass on the counter.

(A Mai Tai is not served in a highball glass. A Mai Tai is served in a double old-fashioned glass.)

I watched him as he dumped some ice cubes into the glass.

(A Mai Tai is made with crushed ice.)

I watched him as he poured into this already pseudo-Mai Tai a big gob of Myers Rum. He didn't bother to measure it.

(A Mai Tai is made with Jamaican rum, and sometimes the rums of Martinique, and the proportions are so precise that you can overpower the rum with one false move of an aerodynamically balanced jigger.)

I watched him dump the contents of two unmarked pre-mixed bottles into the glass. One was a milky white jug and one was a Coke-bottle-green jug.

(There are no Mai Tai recipes, to my knowledge, that call for Yoohoo chocolate soda.)

At this point he looked around in panic, searched some shelves, and disappeared. He was gone a long time. I watched the ice cubes in the highball-with-rum-and-unknown-mixes melting away.

He returned. He searched some more. He left again. As he passed me, I said, "What are you looking for?"

He confessed that he had no orgeat syrup, necessary for the subtle almond flavor that, in my opinion, makes or breaks a Mai Tai. He searched the adjoining restaurants for orgeat, found none, returned, and was about to give up when one of his fellow bartenders whispered something to him. He picked up yet another unmarked bottle, dumped a little of it into the drink, poured it into a shaker, strained it back into the glass. As he was inserting the little umbrella, I said "What was that?"

He said, "Amaretto. To cut the bite."

(Amaretto is not an ingredient in a Mai Tai.)

I swallowed it. I swallowed all of it. It was like a combination of cough syrup, pancake batter, and the automatic transmission fluid from a 1973 Oldsmobile Toronado. I staggered back to the bar to find out if the white bottle and the green bottle had contained either anti-freeze or tick repellent. The white one turned out to be Windows on the World's version of Curacao, and the green one was lime juice, or what they claim to be lime juice, since the only way to put lime in a Mai Tai is to--surprise!--squeeze a goldurn fresh lime. The total price of this industrial cleaning solvent: nine bucks. I tried to offer some to Harvey "Choo Choo" Morris, the drummer and lead singer in Deep Cover, but he was a wise man and declined to imbibe while drumming. He also declined after he finished drumming.

"What has happened to us as a nation?" I mused three days later, after regaining full use of the left side of my body. I resolved not to rest until I got an act of Congress, or at least a bulletin from the Food and Drug Administration, requiring the return to real Mai Tais within my lifetime.

The Mai Tai was invented by one of our greatest bartenders, the one-legged foul-mouthed rum-lover Vic Bergeron, on a day in 1944 when he was experimenting with tropical drinks at his original Trader Vic's restaurant in Oakland. At this point Vic was in his bartending prime, having spent 20 years working up to what would be his piece de resistance, and to start it he took down from the shelf a bottle of 17-year aged Jamaican rum. Anyone who thinks the Mai Tai is a cheap drink should consider this. Jamaican rum aged 17 years is so rare that it doesn't even exist anymore. When the big multi-national companies started buying up the sugar cane plantations in the Caribbean, they shut down all the little rum distilleries where it was still possible to find recipes from the days of Sir Walter Raleigh, which is one reason we have a whole generation of cheap Bacardi drinkers. (Don't even get me started on Puerto Rico. If they want statehood, they need to start sending us some rum that can be swallowed without a visit to the eye, ear, nose and throat specialist.) But back to this moment in American alcohol history. Trader Vic poured two ounces of J. Wray and Nephew 17-year Jamaican rum over shaved ice in a double old-fashioned glass. He then squeezed into the rum, with his fingers, one fresh lime. At this point the drink is virtually complete. In the great man's autobiography, he wrote "The flavor of this great rum wasn't meant to be overpowered with heavy addition of fruit drinks and flavorings." But to give it just the little tang he wanted, he added a tiny bit of orange curacao from the Holland DeKuyper company, and French orgeat syrup (Garier, if you're taking notes) to get the almond flavor. He shook it and served it with a fresh mint sprig. It so happened that two friends of his from Tahiti were in the bar that day. A woman took the first drink and pronounced "Mai tai roa ae!" In Tahitian this means "Out of this world--the best!" And so the Mai Tai was born, named, and, from what I know now, immediately began its long slow decline into frat-boy hell.

Fifty-six years later, I began my quest to resurrect the authentic Mai Tai. I consulted guides to Tiki bars. I looked for recipes on the website. I found the best bartender's guide to tropical drinks, Beachbum Berry's Grog Log, which recommends Lemon Hart Jamaican rum in place of the now impossible to find J. Wray & Nephew. And after proper research, I set off for some recommended bars where the Mai Tai was still revered.

My first stop was Poli-Tiki, a bar on Pennsylvania Avenue virtually in the shadow of our nation's Capitol, where, I was told, there were carved Tiki heads in the shape of ex-presidents, and where Martin Denny reigned supreme on the jukebox. (Martin Denny is the thinking man's Don Ho. His big hit from the fifties, "Quiet Village," is the acknowledged anthem of all Tiki bars, featuring bird calls and primitive drumming that seethes with the allure of island sex. You need this music for a perfect Mai Tai.) I found the place--it was smaller than I expected--and entered to the strains of . . . Santana. Some guy had just put enough change in the jukebox to play an entire Santana album. Why was Santana even being allowed at Poli-Tiki? Confused, I sat at a vinyl booth that was reminiscent of a Greyhound Transit Diner, circa 1958. I asked for the menu. All great Tiki bars have tropical drink menus. This menu had burgers, nachos and onion rings on it. I called the bartender over and asked him if he could make a Mai Tai. He agreed to do it. He added, for some reason, an orange slice on a spear--not a good sign. I took one drink and said "Mai Tai Roa Lani," which, in Tahitian, means "This drink tastes like my tie." It was too thick, too syrupy, and I kept trying to find the lime and couldn't taste it. I asked him what he put in it. He said "One cheap rum and one pretty good one." While I was waiting to see if the dreaded Mai Tai Headache would develop (it did), I noticed that there were no Tiki heads of politicians on the walls. I went downstairs to find glow-in-the-dark pool tables, a bamboo curtain, and a guy sleeping on a Teak chair, but no Tiki heads. Apparently they had been taken out and moved to some other restaurant, or flea market, and I could only hope it was some place where Santana was not playing.

Fortunately, I got a Mai Tai tip in the place. For a real Mai Tai, the guy said, I should head for The Tiki Bar on Solomon's Island, but he warned that it would be a two-hour drive to the coast of southern Maryland. He obviously didn't understand he was speaking to an obsessed Mai Tai lobbyist who had just been humiliated within a few blocks of my nation's Capitol. I was trolling through Solomon's Island by the next afternoon.

I was happy to see that, of all the fish restaurants and boardwalk bars in the little fishing and tourist town, the only place that was really packed was the outdoor Tiki Bar. I was further heartened by noticing the Mai Tai listed as their permanent number one drink specialty, with a picture actually painted into the wooden awning.

It took me five seconds to order the drink. It took them four seconds to bring the drink.

The best way to describe it might be Snapple-and-pineapple-juice-that-gets-you-so-drunk-you-want-a-sec ond-one. This was definitely some kind of spring break concoction that had been put together by drill instructors at the Patuxent River Naval Air Station next door as a form of boot-camp hazing. These things were so thick yet fruity that you sort of sipped them, then gulped them, then inhaled them, and then they hooked you up to an IV and you just mainlined it until closing time. As I tried to focus on the bare bronzed chest of the Neck-Chain-Wearing Yachting Guy sitting across from me, I asked one of the bartending cuties what was in the drink.

"Well, it's three or four different kinds of rum," she said.

I asked her what brands of rum.

"Oh, they would never tell us what's actually in it. We just pour 'em."

And then she points to . . . a giant plastic jug! They were sloshing these things, pre-mixed, out of a two-gallon Mai Tai Mushmaster. I staggered back to my car and slept it off while tourists stared at my beached-whale gaping carcass. I was nearing Mai Tai Nadir here.

Four days later, after passing a brain scan, I gathered together every Mai Tai recipe I could find and consulted every possible Mai Tai mixologist, both professional and amateur. It slowly became clear that the word "Mai Tai" had been appropriated for an astonishing variety of drinks, most of them of the fruity party-till-you-puke variety. Everywhere I went I ordered a Mai Tai, but at last I wised up and discovered that, if the first sip doesn't taste right, the next 90 won't either. The drinks ran the full gamut, so many different tastes and styles that the word "Mai Tai" seemed to be as generic as, say, "schizophrenia." At most places these were hammerhead knockout drinks. But at The Tobacco Company in Richmond, renowned as one of the greatest bars in Virginia, the Mai Tai was so fruity that it could have been served as punch at a first-grader's birthday party. For some reason many bars have taken to adding orange juice or pineapple juice to the drink. I can understand why they might do this in Hawaii, where it's just cheaper and easier, but it's those cheap-ass Hawaiian Mai Tais we're trying to avoid in the first place!

Let me make this clear: The Mai Tai is NOT A FRUIT DRINK!

Rum is made from sugar cane. It's already sweet! Is this so hard to understand? At various times I had Mai Tais containing Maraschino syrup, grenadine, triple sec, all kinds of things out of plastic jugs (lime juice in a plastic jug is not lime juice), and so many canned fruit juices that I couldn't possibly enumerate them all, although the strangest was Ocean Spray Mauna Lai Paradise Passion Juice. There's also a disturbing tendency to float some dark 151 Demerara rum on the surface of the Mai Tai, thereby masking the taste of what is supposed to be the perfectly aged Jamaican rum that is the essence of what the Mai Tai started out to be! Demerara rum is from Guyana, I think, and it doesn't have anything to do with a Mai Tai.

Okay, I'm gonna be calm now. I finally called Peter Seely. Peter Seely is the grandson of Mai Tai inventor Vic "Trader Vic" Bergeron, who died in 1984, and of all the Trader's grandchildren, he's the one who loves rum drinks the most. He is a self-admitted "rum snob." From his office in Emeryville, California, he offered to help. The first thing he did was send me some Trader Vic's Mai Tai mix. Although I'm pretty sure the Trader would not have approved of a drink made from a mix, I tried this stuff and it does not ruin good rum. It's probably the closest you can come to a classic Mai Tai at home. The next thing he did was give me the substitute recipe for a Mai Tai. Since the original rum doesn't exist, the Mai Tai has become a mythological drink in some ways. Since you can't really make it, you have to improvise. And this allowed the juiceheads to get away with Headache Drink Terrorism. The substitute recipe uses some Jamaican rum, some Martinique rum, and basically follows the tenets of the original, except modern tastes require a little more curacao and orgeat than Vic would have used. Peter is a talkative and funny man, and he was only speaking casually when he gave me the keys to the kingdom.

He said, "The next time you're near a Trader Vic's, tell the bartender you want the Mai Tai made 'the old way.'"

Why?

"Because, if you say that, he'll make it from scratch. He'll measure everything according to the recipe. And the old way is a little stronger."

I was on the next plane. I not only had a Mai Tai the old way, but I had a Mai Tai in the modern descendant of Trader Vic's original restaurant, at a marina in Emeryville, California, across the bay from San Francisco. I didn't really like the cherry and orange slice on a stem that has been added to the fresh mint sprig, but I put all quibbles aside when I tasted this Mai Tai.

Mai tai roa ae.

After two I was crawling on the floor, reciting Shakespeare's late love sonnets.

I had four. I vaguely remember Martin Denny on the sound system. Or maybe it was Don Ho.

No, I had five.

I slept that night, for the first time in weeks. Somehow it was a start. If I could feel this renewed, there was hope for the republic.

Maybe I had six.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 6:57 pm 
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Initiate Moai Ra'e
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Personal Statement: Avoid the clap
That was a thing of beauty. Pure poetry. I always liked JBB.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 7:28 pm 
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Honui Moai
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Location: Frontierland, Southern Outpost, QQE
Personal Statement: Ouch!
Yes. The Tiki Bar at Solomons Island pre mixes most of their drinks. The "Mai Tai" has grapefruit ala Don Beach. The staff doesn't always shake the drinks, so the dilution is inconsistent.

However, the young ladies behind the bar are sharper than the above rant would indicate. Most that I have talked to work day jobs in the military industrial complex at Pax River. That's where the Navy's test pilots are. While Navy pilots are good at landing on short floating strips of steel, they probably don't have the drinking capacity that the Army Air Corps pilots of my father's time since the Ranger doesn't have a bar and March does. Since all of this joint services one plane for all the branches of the military thing is going on, and real tiki people like us tip better than the average southern Maryland boating enthusiasts, the ladies behind the bar pointed out to me the large fresh citrus press and told me if I wanted fresh limes and real rum in my drink, they are there to give it to me.

Did I leave a bottle of Orgeat Works there? Will they serve it to anyone?

Probably depends on attitude and whether you recognize that combined the tips and profits for the 200 douches that night ordering Captain and Coke is bigger than my weekly bar bill.

However, if you read this and are ever near Solomons Island, I expect you will visit the Southern Queequeg Frontier Outpost. There is a Roy Rogers in town.Image

Sent from somewhere exotic

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 9:44 pm 
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Protector of the Golden Witco
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You bastard! Roy Rogers, you say?


A Mai Tai w/ orgeat and a Roy Rogers Large Roast Beef with pickles is my blood type.

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 01, 2017 8:57 am 
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Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Related story:

I was in Key West, where I expected that there'd be some Tiki game, and was saddened to find out that there wasn't much.

So, I decided I'd order something that I figured any bar could do. A daiquiri. A traditional, easy to make daiquiri. Needless to say, I utterly failed (or I guess the various bars failed) even after talking to them about what I specifically wanted. Just getting it to not be flavored was difficult, and trying to keep it from being frozen was almost as tough.

So, a Mai Tai? With "tough" ingredients like orgeat? I just don't know. Even at the best bar (that I found) in Key West, where they made decent drinks, their Mai Tai was too sweet and had pineapple juice in it.

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 01, 2017 10:19 am 
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Avai Rona
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Personal Statement: Drink? Jet Pilot!!!
We lived in Key West for three years and never found a descent bar that could mix a Mai-Tai, Zombie or any other classic drinks. Sadly, they cater to the Duval Crawl gang, the ships the puke tourists for a few hours (who are used to the onboard crap they serve) and assorted other tourists that come by car, bus or plane. Even the Officers Club or Sigsby Tiki Hut only mixed "adequate" drinks but that were usually heavy on alcohol and light on taste.
Places like Fat Tuesday, Sloppy Joes, Hogs Breath, the Green Parrot, etc. serve beer (which you really can't mess up but god knows they try) and assorted "craft cocktails" and frozen drinks which are heavy on syrups and fruit juices to hide the quality of the alcohol they use.
I will admit I do like a "suicide" at Fat Tuesday to cool down, pull up a bar stool and watch the tourists rush South to buy T-shirts and booze or stagger North back to their ship/hotel/trolley. However, one is my limit before I go into sugar shock.
That being said, we do have some Gumbo Limbos that are part-time residents there and may be able to shed some light on a decent bar or two. I have not been back in several years so things may have changed (albeit, change goes both ways, for better or for worse).
OZ :fez:

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