The Islands of the Fraternal Order of Moai

HAHAHA!!!! I'm guessing you have, so you understand how we created the drinking game for how many times we heard "travertine tile"!




I must admit hun, Ahu's house, even though unique, wasn't so unusual that he couldn't find a good buyer. He had so many rich touches and did such incredible work to that home, there wasn't too many tiki things that weren't easily removed - at least that I recall. But Ahu's house was in the right neighbourhood with the right buyers, people shopping for those houses are looking for a certain vibe and expect more unique touches as it were.

Our neighbourhood, although built in the 50's, is a very basic suburban place. Kitsch isn't the selling term used around here. Our home is a 1961 bilevel and it suits us well, although we've seem to outgrown it already.! But I have to agree with HI fi Hijinx here - we know this market and this neighbourhood, trust me when I say this. We sold our condo only a mile away from here and I thought surely our nice cherry yellow kitchen walls, black cabinets and checkered floor would appeal to some hip and trendy retro lover - WRONG. We sat on that place for a YEAR, sold less than what we wanted too, and in the end, it cost us severly because we were juggling two mortgages. I learned a lot then.

Besides, we aren't staying - those crosses and Virgin Marys come with me! So what do I really care? I get to go crazy on a new place! The only thing being ripped out are crappy kitchen cabinets and flooring because this house was built cheaply. We're doing an entire kitche remodel because there is no counter or cabinet space now, new windows, repaint - yeah, it's a lot of work, but it will be worth it. Luckily I currently work construction and so does my dad, so we can do this stuff and I know what sells. Sadly it's just not the stuff we dig, heh.

Don't worry, there are no cool aqua tubs here being ripped out! Again, they were cheap when they built this place. If I was ripping something good out, I'd take it with me!!!!

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We are a rare breed.
It could take forever and a day to wait for one of us to show up and buy our cool houses.
The vast majority of the midwest is scared of color.
I look in many windows as a drive by at night (if their blinds are up, of course) in my neighborhood.
I see eggshell white and soft tones in almost everyone's living room.
I also see no art.
NO ART!!!
What the hell is wrong with these people?!?!?
Our queen of halloween will be sitting on that house for years if she don't bore-it-up for the common folk.

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Bring back the Gallery!!!! please
We shall conquer and prosper, for WE ARE MOAI!!!
To Roger.

That may be true, but it's sad to think about. When I bought my house, I saw the bathtub, sink and toilet from 1930 and the kitchen cabinets that looked like they came straight out of "I Love Lucy" and those things were part of the charm that made me want to buy this house. Sadly, I can imagine other people saying, "ugh, these fixtures haven't been replaced since 1930!"

Speaking of the Halloween queen, I just got this in my e-mail from the Columbus Alive. Very Cool Voodoo Baby [aka: Acid Pop Tart] Although I'm sure the circles they refer to are from make up.

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-Don

Oh we're the same way! We watch House Hunters where the people always have something to complain about, "we'll need to replace this and this oh and that and that!" and I'm like "nooooooo, those cabinets are awesome!". That and it shocks me that people cannot see past things they don't like. Our realtor said the number one complaint from our condo was the black cabinets - you know in New York, it would have sold in seconds! Here, ugh. But I couldn't figure out, with such a great price, why not go "Yeah, cabinets aren't my cup of meat, but hey, I can paint!" Or hell, offer us a grand less than our asking, whatever!



Heya, thanks! Yeah, I just made a post about that here! She actually makes reference to me looking "tired" and the circles, but then mentions it coming from the make up a little later on. Heh. But oh god, I was extremely tired.... that was week two of averaging two hours of sleep each night, I'm now on week three.... I think these circles aren't from make up!

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We were very lucky (serendipity?) with our house. Yes, we did improve it in every respect, from a complete rewiring to an arched serving window to the dining room (those places were very "closed off", and the window made a huge difference).

We built an addition, a 2 1/2 car garage with a huge attic in it, a deck, 2 patios, a pergola.. we stripped woodwork, landscaped the whole thing to the tune of thousands of dollars, restored the exterior, refinished all the wood floors, installed saltillo tile, put in a new furnace, bought brand new appliances, restored the iron work, and built a very expensive privacy fence.

So in actuality, we did a lot to appeal to a buyer even though we did it all for ourselves. That house was sturdy and had a lot of character, so we felt compelled to help bring it another 100 years of life.

And we also staged it and essentially stripped the decor bare so that we could sell it. It was packed with our stuff, and never would have sold that way.

Truthfully, I did worry about the paint (Chinese red dining room, acid green bath) but really old houses like that look shitty with white or beige walls. They really beg for bright colors on the walls.

Once we finished the exterior though, and put in the tin ceilings, I was fairly sure it would sell eventually. I was only sweating the final offer and when it would come. We had TONS of showings. That neighborhood being historic and all.. and affordable.. it is a niche market with a different breed of buyer. They want a house that feels and looks like the old bed and breakfast they stayed in once. They want an old home that is rich with detail and appears more costly than it is.

In the end, I would say that in Columbus, if your house is not older than 75 years, and it is not in a quaint neighborhood that has a close proximity to downtown, forget it. Red walls will not sell.

The exception today being exceptional mid-century modern houses, and that is also a much different breed of buyer. And Columbus has few of them.

So beige it up! Home Depot the fuck outta that place!

In the end, we are only caretakers of houses, not permanent owners. All efforts must be directed at creating an appropriate fashion for the house and neighborhood so as to keep it from sitting empty.





I do miss my old house at times. I do not miss the neighborhood much though.



Ahu

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Where, suddenly staining the blues, delirious 
and slow rhythms under the glowing red of day, 
stronger than alcohol, vaster than our lyrics, 
ferment the red bitters of love! 

I know heavens pierced by lightning, the waterspouts
and undertows and currents: I know night, 
Dawn rising like a nation of doves, 
and I've seen, sometimes, what men only dreamed they saw! 

It's that time o' year again.

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Bring back the Gallery!!!! please
We shall conquer and prosper, for WE ARE MOAI!!!
To Roger.

I don't have any new ghost stories.

I'm enjoying a glass of cider tonight though, and the grapes off my vine remind me of home.

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-Don

Knock! Knock!

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Who's there?

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Where, suddenly staining the blues, delirious 
and slow rhythms under the glowing red of day, 
stronger than alcohol, vaster than our lyrics, 
ferment the red bitters of love! 

I know heavens pierced by lightning, the waterspouts
and undertows and currents: I know night, 
Dawn rising like a nation of doves, 
and I've seen, sometimes, what men only dreamed they saw! 

Here's one: My mom, who is French-Canadian and from the maritime province of New Brunswick, went back home to attend her younger brother's funeral. He was killed in a nasty car wreck. This is morbid, I know, but the smashed-up car was still at the side of the road where it happened after it had been pulled out of the ditch. My dad, a bit of a photo-taking guy, took a bunch of pictures of the car. My parents didn't report feeling anything strange at the time, but when they got back and developed the pictures (this was in the 80s and long before digital photography) they saw something in the car. My mom couldn't believe it, she thought she was seeing things, so they showed all of us kids the picture and asked "What do you see in there?"

Every one of us said the following: "A guy, eyes closed, kind of leaning over in the driver's seat, bulbous nose, big moustache, wearing a round blue hat of some sort." Then she would bring out a picture of our uncle (many of us hadn't seen him since we were little kids) to remind us that he looked exactly like that...and he had been driving home from his job that night, which required him to wear a blue construction helmet.

I'd scan the picture for all of you, but I'm scared it would bring about some bad juju so you'll just have to take my word for it...gives me chills to think about it to this day!

DLeB

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Sinatra on non-drinkers: "When they get up in the morning, that's as good as they're gonna feel for the rest of the day."

Booo

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Who be Boo?

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"I ate your spirit animal."

Sorry, didn't mean to make you cry.

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Thank Jebus Matt has a day job and doesnt count on comedy for a living.....and dont forget to tip your servers and bartenders ladies and gents!

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OK, I'll give you one chance to impress me.......

Boo!

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Bring back the Gallery!!!! please
We shall conquer and prosper, for WE ARE MOAI!!!
To Roger.

Anybody have any new ghost stories? I haven't seen or heard anything for years. Must be the ghosts don't like my cats.

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-Don

Don, I thought you had ghost cats?

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No ghost cats, that I know of.

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-Don

Every Hawaiian boy grows up hearing of the night marchers. The ghostly parade of warriors that march with the dead king as he surveys his land. When you hear them coming, hide your eyes and don't look up till you hear them fading in the distance.

I've never encountered them, but my mom swears she did as a young girl. She also saw the Pink Lady of Mililani.

If you want to read some cool stories from Oahu, check out Obake Files

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Step lively.

I have a ghost cat story. How is that?

My wife & I had been married a short time and lived in our home in Hammond, IN about a year. Hammond is a Chicago suburb. Down the street was a neighborhood park. The city flooded part of it in the winter for a skate rink. A few doors down were some white trash folk that rented a house. They had problems with there animals mainly because they never took care of them or didn't get appropriate shots and the animals would die. So it was kinda like disposable pets with them. One of there latest pets at the time was a white kitten about 1 old and it was a dead ringer for our cat at that age. Our cat was about 10 years old at the time.

Iin the mid 90's my wife & I stayed home for New Years Eve, being a musician it was actually nice being home for a change on New Years Eve. Well early on New Years day we threw our skates over our shoulders and ventured down the street it was about 20 degrees outside ideal for skating plus being new years day it was very quiet. Well about mid way down the street in the curb the neighbors cat lay dead. Run over & stiff as a board. I couldn't believe in freezing weather someone would leave there pets out all night especially on New Years Eve with all the drunks out and a bar just down the street. I was rather pissed the cat looked just like my cat, so it was easy to imagine my cat lying there. I pealed the frozen stiff cat off the curb and walked to the neighbors house and threw the cat upon there doorstep. I looked at my wife and said "I wish they had more respect for animals, Well, now they have stiffy the cat!"

Well one evening later that year in late May, I was closing the drapes at dusk on the picture window in the livingroom, I look out and standing on the front lawn looking up at me was stiffy the cat. Its face smooshed, eyes glowing bright red and hair standing on end. Just like outta the Pet Cemetery movie. I call to my wife who's in the kitchen you gotta come and see this stiffy the cats back & outside. She meanders over not anticipating anything then she says "Wow thats totally scarry!!". You see what I see right, and she said yeah the cat. I said "I'm going out side to see this thing, you coming with me". My wife said "your crazy, you won't catch me out there". I go to the door open it up, step on the porch and cat looks at me hisses, makes a sinister screaming noise (very supernatural sounding) and runs to under the car in the driveway. I walk slowly over to the car. I didn't have the guts to walk right next to the car, but bent over about 5 feet away and there is nothing there. So I move closer and there is nothing there. I get on my knees and look again, nothing. The car was in the middle of the driveway, there were no shrubs near or anything on the otherside except more open lawn. I look up at the picture window and my wife is watching just mystified.
So there's you cat & ghost story all in one. The legend of STIFFY THE CAT!

loves me some ghost stories!

Usually I wait until October to unearth this thread.
But something strange happened last night that I have to share.

As I laid in bed last night I was falling slowly asleep listening to the falling rain and crickets.
Everything was perfect.
I was laying on my right side and just as I was just about to get fully asleep I felt fingers walk up the outside of my leg from my knee to my hip and back to my knee again.
When the fingers started back up to my hip again my eyes opened wide like this
Then as I slowly turned to see what it was the fingers went from my hip back down to my knee.
I got up and looked for an explanation.
I looked for a mouse.
Nothing.
It was too heavy for a mouse.
Besides it was two fingers walking up my leg like Mr. Hand from Mr. Bill.
WTF?!?!?!?

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Bring back the Gallery!!!! please
We shall conquer and prosper, for WE ARE MOAI!!!
To Roger.

Oh my God, it's a human hand!

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O, t'wer the little people!


Did you check to see if anyone finished the shoes?

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Where, suddenly staining the blues, delirious 
and slow rhythms under the glowing red of day, 
stronger than alcohol, vaster than our lyrics, 
ferment the red bitters of love! 

I know heavens pierced by lightning, the waterspouts
and undertows and currents: I know night, 
Dawn rising like a nation of doves, 
and I've seen, sometimes, what men only dreamed they saw! 

Trudat, coulda been menehunie!

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